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Friday, August 25, 2006 ( revelations @ 10:04 pm ) i watched hsm a few days ago, and gotten fascinated with the show, coz i think that it's very nice. however, upon finding out that the stars are the same age and one year older respectively, i felt deprived. in singapore, there is very little chance of many of us having chances of striking it big, or deciding on our destined path in our early childhood. for me, having grown up in a sheltered chinese family, where the only other thing i did annually was to go to malaysia to celebrate chinese new year, i realised now, at the age of 18, that i have not actually tried out many stuff that i wanted to do. i wanted to try martial arts, i wanted to try professional painting, i wanted to try piano, i wanted to try acting, i wanted to try singing, i wanted to try modelling. okay, out of what i want, i can safely cancel out singing, coz i'm kinda tone deaf, acting coz i'm not tall enough, modelling coz i'm not tall enough and pretty enough, professional painting coz even when i paint in school, my teachers showed their distaste for my artwork, and martial arts coz well, my parents had still been trying to get used to being parents, and did not really consider putting us in any classes except art classes, and for my brother, art classes and phonics classes. so can tell the difference in how we speak. unfortunately, it's wasted on him, since he likes speaking singlish. i might say that it's coz i live here, and not everything is very publicised here, so when i was growing up, i was nicely sheltered and had no inkling of the amount of things that i could actually do. added to the fact that i'm not very observant, i say part of it's my fault. however, to be quite serious, no one could deny that our country focused on academic achievements. coming to jc, i suddenly realised how different our program is compared to America. face it, on project runway, there is this fashion designer who's only aged 22, and she's only 4 years older than me, and she's a fashion designer. i was like, hey, she knows what she wants to do, and she must actually have some kind of achievement in order to get in, such as the experience and the exposure. then my next thought was, america high school must be quite okay if the teenagers had plenty of time to do what they want, and they can experiment in different things, such as surfing, skate boarding, and etcera. of course, i might be wrong since i have not actually experienced american high school at all, much less stepped foot in that country before, so hey, feel free to correct my views on american high school. i just feel like so many people have achieved so much, and i feel so...useless, or rather, aimless. i know i wanna do psychology, but if you ask me if i really feel that i'm suited to do it, i won't be able to give an answer. and i know that our country is competitive, with so many people competing for the same jobs. is it any wonder that i dun really wanna stay here in the future even though i love it coz it is my home? but at this point, i also wonder if i will really leave this country to seek my opportunities else where. 3x3eunt. 0 comments |